Apparently, this is just not going to be my freakin day...
I really do love my job and up until today, I haven't really had a problem with any of the patients...but since we're closed on the 4th (duh!), we had to call patients to confirm appointments for patients for the 5th today. Read: I had to confirm appointments. OK, no sweat, I do this every damn day. But the vast majority of the people I talked to today, whether on the phone or in person, were real assholes. Yeah, I'm sorry that you have hemorrhoids or giant mutated warts or perhaps a gigantic stick up your fucking ass, but I really don't feel that you have a right to be pissy with me over a simple phone call. If you want your stick removed, keep the appointment. If not, cancel the motherfucker and leave me be, fuck you very much. I mean, goddamn, what the hell gets into people sometimes? And the real bitch of it is that I can't say anything to them about it because I'll lose my job. There was one lady that (yes, I am ashamed to even say this but it's true), I almost hoped that there was something really wrong with her and she would croak soon. Isn't that awful? Her and her goddamn daughter to tell the truth. They were both the biggest bitches I've had the misfortune of running into in ages. Sigh! Perhaps I have picked the wrong goddamn career.
I really miss being in school sometimes...it was easier and it was safe. There really wasn't as much pressure on me. I knew that I had to go to school every day (well, most days) and I knew that I had friends there that I could talk to and I could...I don't know...feel comfortable in my own skin I guess. Right now, I just don't. Maybe it's going hand-in-hand with me not feeling well. I went to the clinic yesterday and found out that I have a sinus infection. I haven't felt good in like 3 days and perhaps, I'm just in a really bad mood about everything. I just really hope that I don't take it out on anyone who doesn't deserve it...I don't need the guilt on top of everything else.
The doc who saw me yesterday, actually a PA, was a girl I had gone to high school with way back in the day. I can't remember how far ahead of me she was in school but I remember going on band trips with her and stuff. I just didn't put 2 & 2 together with her name since she got married and I didn't know it. She actually used to do rounds with the docs at my job when she was in school. Naturally, long before my time but still, kinda cool. She was probably in med school when I was fucking around in Asheboro, having a blast getting high with my buds and pretending that I have the talent to make it as a professional photographer.
Damn, I really miss Asheboro sometimes. I loved living there. It wouldn't be the same now. There are just too many memories and too many people that I really don't want to run into again for me to ever even consider living there again. But the good memories are really good =)
I'm on my own this weekend. I guess I'll take the kiddos to the festival even though they're being royal pains in the ass about it. Especially Raven - he started pestering me about it the minute I pulled into the driveway and I'm just not in the mood to be trifled with. Sigh! It won't be that much fun though - I have no goddamn money to spend. My main problem is that people say "Hey can I borrow $X, I swear I'll pay you back..." and me being the semi-nice person that I am will give it and never see it again. Or I put myself in a major bind by giving it like I did this time. Sigh! One of these days I'm going to learn to tell people to get a goddamn higher-paying job if there's too much goddamn month left at the end of the money. Only problem being that I won't say that no matter how much I want to because I just can't. Does that make any sense at all? Perhaps it'd be a better practice to just start kissing my money goodbye when I "lend" it to someone since I know for a fucking fact that I'll never see it again. Eh well. Nothing I can do about it now. I've fucked myself over and there's still a goddamn week to go before payday. I'll have to take the kiddses to the festival when it starts getting darker if I don't want to have to lay on the sunscreen. The meds Allie gave me make you super-sensitive to the sun and I'm super-sensitive as it is. I used to think that I burned, peeled and tanned. Then it became burn, peel, and go back to being Casper. Now apparently, it's burn, peel, then spot. I have like millions of freckles all of a sudden after I got burned at Desert Wind.
I really don't know why but I feel like I could just sit down and cry for a couple of hours and never break stride. Something just doesn't feel right today. Don't have a clue what it might be but there you have it. Think I'll go read for a while or something. Everyone, take care and, though it's a tad too late for anyone to really read this: Have a great weekend!!