Title: Bob the Zombie Comes to Dinner
Challenge: Short Challenge
Rating & Warnings: Some bad language.
Summary: Bob the Zombie joins the cast of The Walking Dead for dinner. Jon is less than amused.
Author’s/Artist’s Note: This is most definitely crack!fic and it might very well be complete and utter crap as well. However, the pic amuses me and it amused me to write this - I was desperately in need of a laugh. I hope you all enjoy it too. Translation for zombie!speak in parentheses. Word Count: 478
Prompt used: icon (Pick one of your icons and use it as a prompt
"Whoo! That scene was tough work! Move over, Norman. I'm starving!" Jon sank down into the chair next to Norman and sighed in relief as he plunked his tray down on the table. "I don't mind the stunts so much but there's only so many times I can jump over that fence and roll before I start feeling beat up, you know?"
Norman nodded in agreement. "Yeah, man, I hear ya." He eyed Jon's tray and grinned. "You keep eating like that and you'll be too heavy to jump over fences anyway though. You'll be walker-fodder then!"
Jon rolled his eyes and grinned as he started to eat. "Gotta feed the machine, Norm. Can't have me passing out from hunger out there in that hot sun. Besides, I'm blessed with a high metabolism." He pulled his shirt up a bit to show his stomach. "You see these abs?" Norman cracked up laughing. "You're so full of shit, you know that right?"
"Grragh raaarr ggggghhhh!" (Hey guys, what's happening? I'm Bob the Zombie, nice to meet ya.)
Jon looked over at the walker that had just taken the seat next to him. "What the f-? Norm, are you seeing this? Tell me that a walker didn't just sit down here."
Norm looked over and shrugged. "Yeah, so? They gotta eat too, I guess." He picked up his drink and took a sip, watching Jon out of the corner of his eye. "This oughta be good," he thought. He knew that, of all the cast, the walkers bothered Jon more than anyone.
The walker, seemingly oblivious to the tension he'd caused, picked up a hamburger and showed it to Jon. "Grrr aaargh ahhhhhh?" (Hey man, is this made out of brain?)
Jon held his spoon inches from his mouth, milkshake dripping onto the tray in front of him. He couldn't take his eyes off the walker. "Are you fucking kidding me? What the hell are you doing in here anyway? This is a no walker zone. Take a hike."
Bob the Zombie hung his head, dejected. "Unnnnngggghh raaaaaarrrrrllllll pbbbbtttt." (Aww, come on. Can't we call a truce? I'm not here for your brains, I promise. I'll just eat my brain burger and then head back out. What do ya say?)
"Guys, did one of y'all put him up to this," Jon asked, his voice wavering just a little. Jon's cast mates just laughed and choked out responses in the negative.
"Grrrrrr aarrrgh," Bob rasped. (Please? I'm so hungry!)
Jon shook his head. "I can't believe I'm saying this but ok. But if you make one move toward eating me instead of that burger, you're history buddy. Got it?"
The rest of the group burst into laughter as Bob the Zombie raised his brain burger to Jon in a mock toast. Jon just sat there, watching Bob, his milkshake forgotten.
The full picture, cause it is awesomesauce: